Oru Thooku Kaithiyin Vaakumoolam, a prison memoir by death-row convict C. Selvam, is a testament to the transformative power of reading, even on a mind hardened by violence.
“I started reading in the early years of my prison life. But I turned my attention to serious literature and novels after we were sentenced to death. Reading serious literature is different from reading ordinary books. I can read 400 pages of ordinary books, but only 200 pages of serious literature,” said Mr. Selvam, whose book has been selected for the Iyal Award, which is instituted by the Canada-based Tamil Literary Garden. The award was presented to him in absentia on October 18.
Mr. Selvam and his two associates, Sheik Meeran and Radhakrishnan, were sentenced to death for murdering Ayyavu, a notorious gangster, inside a court in Nagercoil in 1994. Though their death sentences were later commuted to life imprisonment, they would have to spend the rest of their lives in prison. They have already completed 32 years behind bars.
A rivalry turned violent
The murder was an act of revenge. The rivalry turned violent after Ayyavu and his associates killed 17 cows belonging to Mr. Selvam’s family in Puthukudiyiruppu, one of the most feared areas of Kanniyakumari district, after failing to find him. Enraged, Mr. Selvam and his friends retaliated by killing Ayyavu inside the Nagercoil court. The incident sent shockwaves across the State.
“I have the blood of the past on my hands. Nowhere in the book have I claimed that I am innocent or that false cases were foisted on me. The period, the place I lived in, the politics of the day, the circumstances, and my age would all have played a role in the tragedies. But I hope I have become a good man,” he told The Hindu ahead of the award ceremony.
“Oh, people living in the light, I take you to a world surrounded by darkness. Only sharp eyesight can spot the light in that dark world, but not its heat.”
Thus begins Mr. Selvam’s introduction to his chilling account. The manuscript, written in his neat handwriting, is still in his possession. The maturity of his language, both spoken and written, and the change in his outlook speak volumes about the transformative power of sustained reading.
‘Overcome by emotion’
After marrying and starting a family, Mr. Selvam said, he was overcome by emotion whenever he thought of the families of those who had been killed. “When I think of buying sweets and new clothes for my children during festivals, my thoughts inevitably turn to the children of the dead. Of course, their mothers would provide for them. But nothing can compensate for the absence of a father. Just think of how much a family suffers when it loses its father. The thought has plunged me into depression,” he said, his voice breaking with emotion.
Mr. Selvam, who surrendered to the police in 1994, began by reading small books, particularly those on Periyar, the founder of the Dravidar Kazhagam, and his works. Fellow inmates, including Mukilan and Pozhilan, who were detained for their political activities and affiliations, introduced him to the world of books.
“But I never imagined that books would reshape my thinking and reconstruct my personality. I had heard about the healing and transformative power of books. Today, however, I stand before you as an example,” said Mr. Selvam, who had not studied beyond Class VIII.
It was in 1998, after his death sentence was confirmed, that he plunged headlong into serious literature and fiction by the great masters. Egged on by Mukilan, an activist who was at the forefront of protests against Sterlite and other campaigns, Mr. Selvam began writing, albeit half-heartedly. He received further encouragement from writer and scholar S.V. Rajadurai.
“I began writing in 2019 with a pen and notebook given to me by Mukilan. I completed 45 pages in a day, and Mukilan appreciated my effort,” Mr. Selvam said, recalling his journey as a writer. Publisher Badri Seshadri, who met Selvam by chance at Tiruchi prison, was impressed by his writing. His publishing house, Kizhakku Pathippagam, subsequently published the book.
When told that his book could become one of the finest works of prison literature, Mr. Selvam smiled and asked, “Have you read the prison memoir of the late communist leader K. Baladhandayutham? In my opinion, it is the best book.”
Published – October 18, 2026 07:30 pm IST
